Lessons on Receiving...

In my life I have heard endless lessons on giving, but very rarely have I heard anything about receiving. Maybe it's because my parents were more than generous with their time and resources during my childhood, or maybe it's because it's easier to talk about giving than receiving. 

I can't remember a time where I really understood that I was on the receiving end until I reached adulthood. As I talk about receiving I'm not talking about birthday gifts or baked good, I'm talking about receiving from a real place of need. Maybe as child I did not understand my needs nor could I articulate them. This left me unsure how to receive gracefully to the point of shutting down even when someone offered a helping hand. In my mind, receiving tangibly or intangibly meant I was weak, or that I was not in control of the situation. I did't need help because I could 'do it myself'. It's even affected parts of my marriage, not being able to ask my husband for the help I clearly need.  It’s not until now that I realize how important it can be to “receive” well. 

As I reflected on my new understanding I was presented with more opportunities to receive. Being pregnant with Cal I was offered generous baby showers from friends and family, also there were times we would come home to boxes of diapers and wipes on our porch and even meals in our kitchen. We needed these things and having Cal would have been extremely straining without the help. I felt undeserving.

I was trying so hard to practice receiving well. Then my thoughts lead me to my spiritual life. 

If I can't receive from people without guilt or shame, how in the world can I gracefully receive the ultimate gift from God? 

My friends and family were being the face of The Lord, and I was being stubborn me. I have to learn to receive with love and gratitude because the ultimate gift is much greater than diapers and wipes. In my time of reflection the Lord spoke:

"You need to receive ALL that I have paid for" 

HE paid by dying on the cross so we could live freely and have eternal life. The "gift" is HIM suffering and dying, I need to "receive" it by living freely without guilt or shame. In dying, Christ asks us to enter into life with Him. He turned God’s wrath for us into favor. We are no longer slaves to sin, we are precious, we are bought for a price paid for with the blood of Jesus. 

He is giving us the ultimate gift, if we choose to, we receive it; every little piece of it. 

I'm convicted.

Yes, I have received the ultimate gift of eternal life, but there is so much I am not openly receiving. I need to receive ALL that HE paid for with an excruciating death. By not receiving ALL that He paid for I am saying I can do it myself, I don't need any help. What does the "ALL" that he paid for even mean? For me it is living without fear, being joyful, loving people, being humbled, having compassion, living free from the guilt of sin, breaking free from strongholds, and spending time hearing from HIM. He already paid for me to live like this, and there is a deep need in my life to live fully. 

For now, here are some pictures of our sweet 6 month old!